To Marry or Not To Marry

Everyone wants to get married but no one wants to put in the work. Marriage is extremely hard. There is nothing out there, in this world, that you can compare marriage to. You have to take the good with the bad. Waking up to the same person for the rest of your life gets challenging. I say that because people become complacent and comfortable. Most people date to marry; but once married, you’re done with dating?? That’s not how it goes. You have to STILL! What I mean by this is STILL do those things you did to get your spouse. Just because you “got” them does not mean you really have them. You have to open up more and communicate while having the most uncomfortable conversations. You have to be honest, compromise and be understanding. Love is hard which is why most people would prefer to have side chicks/dudes. It’s super easy because you can do what you want with multiple people and not be held accountable. I recently watched “Black Love” and Viola Davis said “marriage doesn’t start when you say I do, it starts when you roll over and you ask yourself “why did I get married to him/her” but then your next thought is “but I love him/her so much.”” I absolutely agree. For those of you who are married, I commend you. It’s a sacrifice because you are giving up you as a singular and becoming one with someone else. You can still be who you are but you will have to compromise to mold yourself into ONE with your spouse. I will be married for 3 years come October; it’s been quite the experience but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. For those who are engaged, do not look at marriage as just your big fancy wedding. Because once you say “I do” the ugly side of your spouse will show. That is when you will have to prove that you are there for that person for better or worse. For those who are just waiting for the right person to come along, start working on you first and preparing yourself to be a better person for your spouse. Even though marriage is rough, it’s well worth it with the right person.

 

~Journie2Woman

6 Replies to “To Marry or Not To Marry”

  1. You were able to put into words what most women are scared to say. They are scared to admit that marriage isn’t always sunshine and rainbows & that it is hard work. They want to portray the perfect marriage and the perfect life, but there is no such thing as perfect. In order to be successful at anything, we must practice and put in the time. I’m not married, but living with my boyfriend makes me feel like I am. Everyday we are both constantly putting in work, but at the end of the day, it is completely worth it to me.

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    1. Most women are afraid to be judged but at the end of the day no one takes care of you so ppl can think what they want. I find it to be a good thing to be transparent which gives others the mindset that they are not the only one. Living with someone is not easy at all but as long as you see it’s worthy and fit keep pushing for greatness!!!

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    1. That’s completely true. It’s on both parts but moreso on the men. Even though you’re married you still have to be present mentally physically and emotionally. Unfortunate this is what most marriages lack and it ends in divorce or a forever separation

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  2. Well said. The “still” started fading away in my marriage after I gave birth to my daughter. Finances, education, and parenting became the priority. Too often, we focus on the business of the marriage and forget about the relationship. My husband and I, after 6 years, have just realized that we have to start putting focus back on each other.

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    1. Absolutely. It’s fades and that is why most people divorce. They forget about the relationship and treat their marriage ad a business. So happy you all have realized it!!! I’m still rooting for you!!! Thanks for sharing!!

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